Listening to Our Voices: The Healing or Exodus of Second Generation Asians

While the ethnic church has created a safe place for Asian immigrants, the second generation struggles with their identity as Canadian-Asian-Christians, resulting in a "silent exodus," a term popularized by Helen Lee. She writes:

Asian churches are confronted with similar dilemmas of identity and mission: whether their principal role is to serve new immigrants, to disciple and Americanized next generation, to blend their congregations into Christian America, or to move their churches into some yet undiscovered form and function.

The first generation often gives responsibility of the second generation to youth pastors, diminishing the voices of conversation between generations. Because of patriarchal hierarchy, it is difficult for Asian parents to listen to their children. However, second generation Christians are equally guilty of not listening due to a desire to find their identity apart from their parents' culture. Because of the cultural enclave that is crated by immigrant adults, the 2nd Gen struggles with connecting the church to their world. There is both disconnect and a lack of identity. The identity of being Canadian, Asian, and a child of God are all at stake, as well as family relationships between the two generations, and beyond. What does it mean to embrace culture as God-ordained without forgetting that it is Christ who calls us into culture?

As the church, we have a responsibility to understand the diversity of cultures in our communities. Jesus reminds us that the greatest commands are to love God and love people. If we are to love people with God's love, we must understand how people can be loved in their context. After all, Jesus reacted differently according to the circumstances of the people: dining with Zacchaeus, embracing little children, forgiving the woman caught in adultery.

Fumitaka Matsuoka in Out of Silence observes that Asian Americans are in a place of in-betweenness that leads either to a state of disconnectedness from all of their social setting or to being a bridge between different social settings. Because of their unique in-between identity, second generation Asian-Christians can understand the different voices of our culture. Rather than feeling like they are not a part of the majority culture, the 2nd Gen can initiate healing in the church by being a bridge in understanding different cultures. This raises questions of how we may view the church as home. Instead of a consumerist attitude that searches for a church for "my needs," how might the second generation find their home church and own their identity and calling?

Instead of critiquing the ethnic church for focusing on immigrants, we can choose to give thanks for their dedication to serving immigrants who have experienced a loss of identity. If we begin with a thankful attitude, we take on a posture of learning in which we can listen and understand, rather than critique. This is not to say that we pretend to be nice, but that as a church we can genuinely challenge each other in love while being aware of the majority and minority culture dynamics. In a family, we have different roles and identities, but we learn from each other through our differences. Likewise, Paul reminds us in 1 Corinthians 12 that the church is blessed with different people, under the Lordship of Christ. 

What the second generation needs is not a "better church for their needs" but a church home that is intentional in listening. Through listening to our voices, we will think twice before continuing the silent exodus, and take a step towards healing.

Argo and the myth of heroism

Argo. Dramatic pacing, top notch acting, and a script to keep your heart pounding. I think it's brilliant fictionalized history. There, I said it (despite the media's fury at the minimization of Canadian involvement).

Leaving the historical debate aside, I think we need to first realize that Argo is portraying an aspect of the story that has not yet been told. Ben Affleck has said in interviews that he wants to celebrate this untold story of Tony Mendez, an American hero. So that leaves the interesting question: what is the story that Argo is telling? Is it the story of courageous heroism in going forward with an audaciously impossible plan? Is it making the ethical choice to rescue those who are trapped in society? Or is it perhaps the story of a man who dared to make a difference in the lives of six people? Maybe the story is none of those, or all of those. I leave that for you to decide as you watch the film

Watching Argo makes me realize that our post-modern culture is crying out for genuine heroes. Think of the recent "historical" movies portraying heroes: Abraham Lincoln in Lincoln, King George in The King's Speech, Jackie Robinson in 42. The myth of the hero is celebrated in our culture. Joseph Campbell, famous mythologist, says that a myth is a metaphor for a mystery beyond human comprehension that helps us understand some aspect of ourselves. In other words, the myth of the hero reflects something we desire or see in ourselves. In a world of spy heroes like James Bond and Jason Bourne, you'd think that Tony Mendez would be another gun-wielding assassin, and yet, he differs. The real life Mendez has said he hopes the movie will create a different trend and "make the CIA guy lovable." This is a reformed vision for the hero.

42 depicted a perseverant and passionate hero in Robinson 

even this enduring hero is changing in our culture

Affleck, playing Mendez in the film, does not come into Iran with an agenda of performing a heroic mission by himself, but comes to coach the six hostages to assume Canadian identities in order to escape together from Iran. instead of launching into an invincible killing spree a la James Bond style, Mendez puts his life on the line and walks with these people through the patrolled borders of the Iranian airport, despite his authorities telling him to abandon the plan and the people. There's something there about his willingness to be on the same level as the hostages, and to journey with them. In one scene, though the six are initially nervous and reluctant with the task, they ask for his help to coach them through their roles again. He is a hero that doesn't fight with his fists but with his head and heart, earning the trust of those he helps.

In that sense, I think the church has a lot to learn from Mendez. It seems the church has a myth of heroic evangelism where the hero is one that convinces a sinner of his or her sins, and converts them on the spot. I have been guilty of viewing myself as a hero, of essentially saying to 'sinners': "I'm perfect, and you're not. You need to become like me." I need to remind myself that the ultimate hero, Jesus, chose to become a friend of sinners. He ate with them (Mark 2:15-17), he valued them (Luke 7:36-50), and he asks us to love them just as he loves us (John 13:34-35).

Maybe, we need to be a coach like Mendez and walk with people in their broken situation instead of trying to drag them to meet our standards. Maybe, we need to celebrate with them like the Argo team does in the airplane once they leave the enemy territory. Maybe, instead of feeling like we all need to be a heroic evangelist who converts a multitude of sinners, Jesus calls us to be the kind of hero that comes alongside sinners, embracing them in their brokenness, and cheers them on as they encounter the true, saving hero, Jesus Christ. And maybe, that's why he calls us to make disciples for his kingdom.

This is our story

Ever since our engagement in May, I've been meaning to write the story of how we met. After a whirlwind month and a bit, it's a good time to write this down. I hope you enjoy =)

Boy Meets Girl

Anna and I met in January 2012 in Regent's "Soul of Ministry" class. We were placed in a small group of 5 for that class, which was reduced to 3, and we quickly got to know each other well. One week our friend could not attend and the two of us got to share about that week's subject on brokenness and suffering. After hearing Anna's story of selflessly serving children and youth in Korea, I felt something different about this girl, in her heart for God and his people.

In March I prayed fervently in seeking God's will because I found myself thinking more and more about this girl. I was unsure because I had been moving on from past brokenness with another girl, and I did not want to risk the same mistake of mistaking my own will for God's. Anna and I decided to go to Passion World Tour together with our friends, and it was there that God broke through into my praying process. Louie Giglio spoke on Luke 7, where Jesus touches the dead young man and says, "get up!" 
Louie asked us, "what are the seemingly impossible things in your life right now that Jesus wants to touch and say, 'get up!'"

The Awakening

I was struck by that question. That night I kept praying and seeking. The next day continued in prayer. Then God spoke. 

I came to realize that I had been living in fear, not in fear of rejection, but in fear of letting go of control over my life. If I were to step into a relationship, it would mean making myself vulnerable to Anna and completely trusting God. I had always been a control freak. Letting go of that control and making myself vulnerable to love someone, and be loved, was a scary thing because that was precisely the thing I could not do in the past. It seemed impossible, but God was telling me to get up and learn to love. I prayed to God then, sitting on my couch, that I would let go of my fear and trust him in leading Anna and me.

The week after Anna flew to Korea for two weeks for her brother's wedding. During that time, each time my iPhone message tone went off, I would rush to my phone hoping that it was her message. Indeed, we would message each other every day. When Anna returned for the last week at Regent, we decided to walk around UBC because I had promised to show her around campus. Minutes quickly turned into hours, and we spent 4 hours talking about our life dreams and passions. 

The First Date

The next Friday we went on our first date, with breakfast at Sophie's and then a walk around Granville Island. We sat down on a bench looking out at the water, and after chatting for a bit, I had to tell her how I felt about her and our future. My heart began to race a bit faster, and my mouth seemed to dry up. Finally, the words came, "Anna, I feel we really connect and I want to be clear with you about my intentions. Would you consider pursuing a relationship with me?"

She paused.

"Uh, let me get back to you."
What? My heart raced with fear and I felt like I had the wind knocked out of me. Anna, nervous and awkward, began to talk about random things like the boat that was in the water. I took a deep breath and prayed, "God, I let go of my fear and trust you." Then I asked Anna what she really meant, and the next blow came.

"You're nothing like what I wanted."
Wow, I was floored by this point. She quickly responded in saying that came out the wrong way. She meant that I was not the perfect checklist guy she had envisioned, but that she came to see we connect in very special ways. I won't forget the words that she uttered next, "there are long term relationships and short term relationships. If we want this to work out, I want to ask my family too because a relationship is more than just two people." I respected that response, and as I drove her back to Abbotsford, I got to share with her all that I had been processing and how God had been speaking in the past month.

Walking Together

The next Tuesday, after she had spoken with her family, I met with Anna in Abbotsford. On that calm, rainy day we took a walk around Mill Lake. Although trying to enjoy the walk and our conversation, butterflies were dancing in my stomach with anticipation. After a few minutes I could not bear it anymore and asked, "so, how did the conversation with your parents go?"

"Oh, it went very well!" Then, she slipped her hand into mine.

And in that moment, fiction became reality. We held on, talking about our lives together, and we have been holding on ever since, trusting that God is leading us to walk closer in him.

This is our story, but only the beginning, because it is continuing to be written by God.

Watch our proposal story in HD. Hope you like it =)
The photos will make a lot more sense after you watch the video!

My two friends Peter and Larissa were a big part of my prayer and preparation process! The bridge and "boat" behind us are the random stuff Anna talked about when she was nervous on that first date!

Oh, Happy Day! (baptism story)

Today I celebrated with my good high school friend Larissa! She is super caring, thoughtful, and a good faithful friend through and through, as well as being a nurse. And I've known her since grade 8. Wow, that's a long time. 

Today was the day she dedicated her life to be made new in Jesus. She had been through lots of hurt and confusion through her faith journey in the past several years, wondering if God had abandoned her.

However, as she shared in her testimony today, God always showed her that he was there. He is always faithful. He has never abandoned her nor left her side. He is always there.

Today, Larissa chose to be baptized, to turn her life to Jesus.

a brisk, rainy day at garry point!

16 were baptized today! 7 of them shared their life story in the morning celebration service =)

Love his shirt. In Chinese it means "a true man"...how fitting for this occasion!

So many amazing life stories shared today. I know our Father is just beaming at us because 16 of his kids decided to follow him as Father and Lord. From broken families, to workaholics, to atheists, to addicts, to just the every day normal person, transformation has taken place. Lives have been changed and they are changing. It's all because of the love of Jesus that is lived out in each of his followers.

I am so overwhelmed when I hear their life stories. It's so real. Their life direction has changed because of Jesus, and now they can share the love and goodness of Jesus in their families, their work place, and their every day living. They are a new creation, because of Jesus.

Thus, if anyone is in the Messiah, there is a new creation!

Old things have gone, and look--everything has become new!

- 2 Cor 5:17

Josephine + Charles: a surprise proposal at UBC

They say good wine gets better with age.

Josephine and Charles first met in grade 11 at a science event at UBC, and later ended up living in the same dorm at UBC in first year. They would meet in their dorm to read Harry Potter books together! How cute is that! Last year, Charles went to Toronto for pharmacy work and he had to decide whether he would further his career there or come back to be with the girl of his life. He chose the latter.

I first met Charles the summer of last year, right after he had returned from Toronto, at the paintball bachelor party of Justin (whose wedding I shot). Charles was one of the groomsmen at Justin and Jenny's wedding. This April, Charles emailed me about shooting his surprise proposal to Josephine, for which I was excited because I was also planning my very own proposal at that time! It was a funny moment because we had some mutual friends, and we needed to keep both our proposals a secret! While running on the excitement of my own proposal in May, I got to shoot Charles' proposal on June 16. Everything felt so much more real and to the bone because I could relate with Charles as he told me about his sleepless nights and endless planning, while trying to spend time with his girlfriend pretending that nothing was happening. Yup, I know how that feels.

Charles told Josephine that he had hired me for a photoshoot because they never had formal photos together. So, she suspected nothing =) We started at Nitobe Garden (funny enough a lady asked them if they were having pre-wedding photos), and then quickly made our way to Rose Garden, where the surprise lay waiting. Charles had prepared two giant Muk Muks, SEWING and creating the tux and wedding gown, with the help of his sister. He told me he watched endless videos to learn. Wow, the details were definitely there and I am so impressed! Hope you enjoy their story!